Clients often ask me why they have gotten different answers about their financial entitlements after separation. The basic reason is that there is no easy way to determine this, without first going through the entire disclosure process.

Getting a definitive answer from a lawyer to the question ‘how much should I get?’ is a a sure sign your bullshit radar should be pinging.

The application of legal rules is subjective, lawyers are biased observers. When your life is going through the upheaval of a separation, when you are scrambling around in the dark, the temptation to clutch on to what a lawyer has told you is completely understandable. But don’t do that. Remain open minded.

A lawyer may give you a range of what she thinks you’re entitled to based on her experience and knowledge of the law. But it’s heavily influenced on what you’ve told her and what you have not told her. Without realising it, you may have included different information to each lawyer, or one may have asked more specific questions. A lawyer may give you the answer you want to hear as they have just settled a case they thought was going to trial and are now desperate to retain new clients. A lawyer might be very conscious of managing client expectations and so has given you a moderate estimate so as not to disappoint you. A lawyer may have just settled a case with similar facts and assumed (perhaps erroneously) your case will follow the same course.

It’s useful to remember that a lawyer gives you an answer to this question mostly because they know how much you want one. Often a lawyer will give you a range of percentages as that’s easier to get right, but it’s completely meaningless when you don’t know what is in the asset pool. Getting 80% of the asset pool is not a win if the main real estate is excluded. Or if it is completely undervalued during the negotiations.

Don’t choose your lawyer based on what they have told you they can get you. They can’t possibly know with any degree of accuracy from one consultation. Choose your lawyer based on how you feel about working with them. Do you trust them? Will they listen to you? Do they value you as a client? Have they got the right experience and are they humble enough to know when they need to engage another expert. Take the time to see how you feel after you talk to them. If it doesn’t feel right, move on. The worst thing you can do is stay with someone you don’t trust, that feeling will only get worse the more money you spend on them.